my boyfriend hates my hair,

For whatever reasons natural hair is still not readily accepted as the first choice for many significant others preferences on hair style. This loved one could be anyone from your mother, friends, or significant other. Whether this relates to you or someone you know many women face this problem early on either during the transition or following their Big Chop.  These tips below will help you express yourself to your loved one so they can see where you are coming from.

Self Love-

Loving yourself is key in any relationship. This is the basis on how you want someone to treat you with the same ideals and respect that you give yourself.

Confidence-

If you are confident in your appereance others will have no choice but to get in line. A head held high and proud completes any look. When you are proud of yourself your loved one will be as well. I can’t tell you the number of times my hair wasn’t all the way on point but I still carried myself in the manner that it was. Confidence will wipe away any uncertainty for onlookers that “yes my hair is supposed to look like this”!

Express Yourself-

If the above mentioned prerequisites are not enough consider sitting down with your loved one or significant other and having a heartfelt conversation. Take any hostile emotions or resentment out of the conversation and tell them how you feel using “I” pronouns. Explain why your natural hair is so important to you. A lot of times people will think it is just a phase and will go away if they keep nagging you about it. If this is deeper than that to you be sure to express that and make sure they can see your point of view. Let them know how it makes you feel when they talk negatively about your hair. At the very least this person who claims to love you will at least keep the negativity to themselves as they should not want to hurt you.

It should also be noted that a lot of times these loved ones are not trying to be malicious or hurt you but what you are doing is totally bucking their ideals and  many people cannot handle change or non conformity. Try not to get defensive when communicating as this could cause a communication break down and neither side will feel resolve.

Educate them on hair in general-

Maybe they are unaware of the damage that certain hair practices that you may have used in the past effects your hair and health in general. It may be naive to assume that everyone knows what you may know about the natural hair journey. Explain!

Finally, try to resolve the issue on a good note. Whether it is a compromise, apology, or even just a mutual understanding that this is your choice and you are doing what is best for you.

In the end your loved one will have more knowledge about your journey and/or respect your decision.

 

Have you experienced this with a significant other, family member or friend? What was the outcome? Let us know in the comments.

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